Oh Chapstick My Chapstick

I finish all of my chapsticks. (Chapstick is a term used here to reflect all forms of lip balm. I used to be whole-heartedly devoted to medicated Chapstick, and then My Favorite Lip Balm, and then Burt's Bees, but then I discovered Nivea and I did not look back). I typically have 3 or 4 of the same chapsticks in rotation at any given time. I finish each and every one of them. I also lose each and every one of them. Possibly more than once. But it is very rare that I don't find it again. Sometimes it is found within a few days. Sometimes it takes weeks. And occasionally, one will show up at the start of fall that went missing at the end of winter. Coat pockets, purse pockets. I would go on but really, those are the only places I ever find them. I would venture to say that finding a long lost chapstick in a jacket that hasn't been worn in months is BETTER than finding a $20 bill in your pocket. (Logically, I realize this makes no sense. If I found a $20 bill in my pocket I could buy 7 brand new chapsticks and some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Maybe this is the better option....)
For some reason, I only ever lose my chapsticks when they are brand new. Never ever will I lose one that is on it's last leg. And because I'm always losing them, I have a really hard time throwing old ones away. And because I never lose those ones, I end up amassing a collection of totally useless chapsticks. And then there are those desperate moments when I've managed to lose three brand new ones so I reach for one of my trusty old ones hoping to extract the teeniest bit of balm usually without much success. Those are sad days.
But I don't fret. Because when you have seven brand-new lost chapsticks, one is bound to turn up.